🧠 A Father’s Conversation That Changed Everything

 

The other day, I had one of the most difficult but meaningful conversations with someone I used to work with — a fellow father, carrying a heavy burden. His 17-year-old son had fallen into gangsterism, had already been to jail twice, and was recently released on bail, which he had to pay himself. The pain in his voice was clear. He was worried, tired, and heartbroken.

As we spoke, he said something many fathers often believe:

“I buy him everything he wants. I spoil him. I give him the best.”

I paused and gently said to him, “That’s the problem with us fathers… we think money and things are love. We only want to provide and spoil our children, but we don’t always connect with them emotionally.”

I didn’t speak from a perfect place. I’m also a father, and I told him honestly — I’m still learning how to build better communication with my older son. It’s not easy. But I’m trying every way I can to reach him. That’s what I encouraged him to do as well:

Don’t just discipline. Sit with your child, listen without shouting. Be quiet. Be present. And find the cause behind the behaviour — not just the effect.

It was hard to say those words to another man — but I felt they came from a place of truth and experience. And he listened.

🙏🏽 A Week Later, He Called Me…

He said: “Your advice worked. My son just wanted attention. All he needed was his father to be present.”

This touched me deeply. He went on to say that he realized how work, social life, and stress had taken him away from his family. His son didn’t want more things — he wanted more time. More laughter. More connection.

That father made a choice. He stopped going out with friends on weekends. He started spending time with his son — doing things together, talking, laughing. And just like that, their relationship started to heal. His son’s behaviour changed.

🧔🏽‍♂️ A Lesson for All Fathers

This story reminded me — and I hope it reminds you too:

Our children don’t want just our money — they want us.

Our presence is more powerful than any present.

Let’s stop trying to fix things with silence, shouting, or buying gifts. Let’s sit down, listen, laugh, and walk the journey with our children. You never know  one conversation could save a life.

💬 Leave a comment below:

Have you ever experienced something similar with your child or a young person close to you? Let’s grow together.

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